Night in your shoes
by Vampykitty-kun
Summary: Switching suits had been a horrible idea… disregarding the necessity, given the situation. BatCat, magical accidental gender-swap.


"Oh, I could get _soooo_ used to this…"

Bruce could not suppress the shudder that ran through him at that. Things could not be any more wrong. Batman should never _purr_. In fact, Batman should never move like _that_ either…

Switching suits had been a horrible idea… disregarding the necessity given the situation.

Selina gave a joyous cackle as she flipped backwards off the parapet towards the level below, and he grimaced, reluctantly following after. After landing less than satisfactory he was no more pleased, and it was all the more depressing when he watched her _twirl_ into the roundhouse kick she used to send the fleeing thug hurdling into the brick wall, relishing in the fluttering of the cape as her cheshire grin curled below the cowl.

He was not allowed to dwell on it long however as gunfire to his left startled him out of thoughts. He hissed as he dove aside, barrel rolling before he shot off toward the source of the threat, reaching for his-

And suddenly he was letting out a shrill undignified squawk as he hit the ground all sorts of wrong, landing on his side, only just barely grabbing the whip at his side in time to send the man tumbling to the ground beside him rather than having the opportunity to fire in his face.

A brief glance down revealed the culprit. A snapped heel.

He snarled, throwing himself upward in a brisk motion, and he ignore Selina's horrified gasp as he forcibly broke away the other.

"Damned things…" He muttered, rolling the shoulder he landed upon.

He sent two more men tumbling to the ground before Selina was at his side, sending a third skidding half-way across the roof on his back.

"Careful." He barked, frowning as she rolled her eyes, and he was forced to glare _up_ at her. "You are going to hurt people far more than necessary."

Selina only laughed and lurched forward, grabbing hold of his wrist before he could twist away from her grasp.

"Don't know my own strength, _Kitty-Cat_." She drawled, slipping a hand around his waist to snap him close, nuzzling the crook of his neck. "Having too much fun."

He clenched his jaw as he narrowed his eyes.

"This is _not_ the time nor place Selina."

"When is it ever?" She chuckled, leaning down to lick a stripe up his lips. "With your life there's never time. I seize the moment when I can, between Arkham breakouts, and robbery busts."

Bruce sighed and twisted out of her grasp, lurching backwards into a none too graceful flip, before righting himself and crossing his arms beneath his chest.

"Be that as it may, I would rather get the night over with, so that I can return home and contact Zatanna…"

"Oh? I rather like this new arrangement." She snickered, cocking a hip.

She turned her head to gaze at herself in the reflection of the remainder of a cracked wall window, and smirked as she grazed her fingers over the bat symbol across her chest plate, then ran her hand down to briefly clutch at her codpiece.

"I could live with this body. And yours…"

Admittedly, the Bat-glare was far less effective in his present state, but that did not give her the right to _coo _as result…

"I cannot do my job with this body." He muttered, pointedly staring down. "I have a new found respect for Barbara and how she managed over the years. In heels no less.

"Alfie could always make you new suit. Utility belt, cape, and all."

"Selina..."He warned.

"_Catman_ and _Batwoman_. We could make it work." She laughed.

Bruce could only groan and shake his head

"Not only are both titles previously taken, but no, just- _no_. Selina, you are made of nightmares, I will never get the image of your body movement with a male figure and batsuit out of the darkest depths of my mind. The only thing that could have made this worse is if we had traded bodies rather than simply genders. As is I am mortified that you have more control over your present state than I. That is another sort of wrong all together."

"You're just jealous." She teased.

"Hardly." He huffed.

"You know, I'm going to have to make a trip to see Oracle… you haven't the slightest clue of how _cute_ you are." She smirked, watching the humiliated look spread across his feminized face. "And if you think for one moment that you are getting back to that cave tonight, you've got another thing coming _hun_. I wouldn't miss this opportunity for _anything_…"

He would later deny, _repeatedly_, that his cheeks turned as crimson as they did, even though Barbara did in fact have it on film. He _was_ willing to admit however that the next morning's walk of shame had topped the initial gender change as his most mortifying experience **ever** and that he never wanted to experience receiving that disapproving _look_ from Alfred ever again… although walking through the front door clad only in one of Selina's tank tops and miniskirts with a duffle bag in tow admittedly probably would not have been nearly as bad had he not had claw marks on his hips and the blotches on his neck as result of the night's extracurricular activities…


End file.
